Tuesday, April 26, 2005

bypass oh bypass

I guess there's nothing much to this to woo the surfers to even read one word of what's in here, particularly as I've gone thru no sorts of pains to change the generic backdrop nor have plans to; my profile i could care less to provide to the zero people reading this blog (i do know enough about myself and have no desire to look at my own picture on the web)--thus, the overwhelming uselessness of this thing m'a frappe encore, particulierement ce matin pendant que je mangeais mon porridge de petit dejeuner, pas savoureux a la personne saine, and I wondered what compelled me to do it...

But futility aside, I must say that perhaps I am happy to have done it, as it forces me to write something, hopefully daily, to fight back that feeling that there was no point to creating the thing...the more I write the more I render the thing functional, functional perhaps only for my own sanity, because I doubt any of these thoughts do anything eye opening for the random blog scroller and I don't foresee myself disclosing germane truths regularly couched in brilliant diction and clever twists of language...

And this has nothing to do with humility at all, because there is a little squeak emerging from the recesses of my consciousness, telling me that there is an audience, potential or imagined, and I am writing with that in mind...why else write? why else did I find this blog such a ridiculous whim I decided to entertain for some impulsive reason? Not that it's serious as all that, if it really did rankle then I'd leave off doing it without a regret, but there's something about starting something without facing the consequences that has a distasteful side to it...

I think this French playing in my ear is affecting my ability to write something coherent here...and especially because we've moved from les actualites to les sports and football, there really is no reason to have that playing anymore...but I guess there really is no reason to go on writing this nonsense either...so perhaps I'll end the two at once, and off to something a little more fruitful...

(I hope I will leave off the censure of this blog in the next post; ya no voy a odiar)

The first one

What am I doing. I dunno even what these things are but it's a reason not to crack open the books or give my mind its much needed rest. I'm embarrassed to even tell people about this thing, so maybe it's just a pretext to write but not necessarily for naught. It's going somewhere, not the deadend somewhere of your imac desktop but the avenue opening somewhere of a random website where encouraging prospects abound and...

and nothing more maybe. Ah well...
I'm so overwhelmed by the mere fact that I collected my energies to even create this thing that I've completely exhausted my supply of good quality thoughts and now I'm churning out thoughts of a rather mediocre sort. Another few minutes will have me turning circles in my language and writing unintelligible nonsense. Or rather just bad writing. Bad writing can be intelligible, but perhaps not tolerable, so I won't try and put anyone thru that.

Ah but a thought: perhaps this thing is good because it's like writing an email, a mass one, if you will, but you are not really obliging anyone to reply or respond to the nonsense and you don't need to feel bad about filling the whole thing with meaningless drivel because it has no purpose. Good, good.